There is someone somewhere with THAT SMILE!
And writing about him and reading words I write seems like I’m writing about mythological figure. I swear it’s not…he is someone somewhere with flesh and bones, with that smile, with huge heart, old soul, eyes that never lie, voice that tingles every cell of the body, with f****** awesome sense of humor, with empathy, understanding and capability to make one feel like million dollar baby.
He is one that pays extra attention, not just listening but hearing the words people are saying. He is the one who takes extra effort to make someone somewhere smile. He is the one that is willing to drive half of the island just to show lighthouse and to see the smile on ones face when they pass waterfall because waterfall for someone is not just a water.
He is the one that send pills to another country just to take the pain away.
He is the one that tells his little secret about mint Ritter sport from fridge and hot coffee.
He is the one that writes on you and makes that one never look at their own feet same again.
He is the one who makes lunch for you, shirtless.
He is the one that challenges someone to be better and braver.
He is the one that make extra effort for one to like Tuesdays again.
He is the one who make colorful bracelets for someones hand.
He is the one that help you love red again.
He is the one who sends you hints to find the place where he is drinking coffee.
He is the one that wishes good morning every day minute after midnight.
He is someone somewhere that makes my soul cum.
Ladies and gentleman…he is the one!!! Period!
I remember every bit of our start after soooooo many years (decades to be exact!!). Life wasn’t easy on him…he had his ups and downs and all that make him stronger but still vulnerable to the point that he built high brick wall around himself.
He didn’t let me come close and I remember saying that we should let bird of of the cage to be wild and free.
He made one step forward…two steps back.
He was tiptoeing…making baby steps…sometimes he managed to make a huge leap for him.
I took one brick off, he putted another three up.
It was “game” we played for a long time.
Somehow, somewhere on that road he helped me put brick down…and not putting another one up. And after some time we managed together to put off another one and another one…he started to see light from outside…it was one sunbeam…but we were going forward.
Then came time when some insecurities made him put wall back up…and every time that happened I had a feeling it was higher and stronger.
I wasn’t giving up. I wasn’t letting go.
I was there to stay. I was there to hold his hand over the bars…it was his kind of jail.
At one point he was ready to put some bricks down by himself…he let the sunshine in, he let himself feel happy for a moment, he embraced love that it was giving to him…at one point he was holding my hand and promised he won’t let go. I wasn’t planning to leave…I was here to stay. I promised I won’t hurt him.
It can’t be bad if it feels so good, right?
He let himself go…for a moment and I knew it’s doing him good.
He let for a moment to be utterly loved and not be scared. He gave me capability to destroy him and all I wanted is to love him more. I was just taking care of him even more, holding his heart with extra caution and trying to make his soul ultimate happy.
I was trying to show him that he means the world to someone somewhere and that some of us are willing to love all the good and damaged pieces of him.
That some of us when we say forever…we mean forever. Some of us are willing to love forever that special someone somewhere that is perfect just the way he is.
He is my someone somewhere that has an old soul, that smile, perfect hands that fits perfectly in my hand, playful personality, stubbornness, capability to quiet my demons…and ohhhhhh, our souls are dancing passionate tango together!
You might never know!
He is one and only! Someone somewhere that knows the words to the song I sing!