New Year’s eve…

I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned that things don’t always turn out the way we planned.

I have learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.

I learned also that I won’t ever be ready for what life throws at me. I won’t have right words when it counts… but now I know I don’t always need to have the right answer.

I have another year ahead of me, another shot at making it right.

New year brings new chapters, new verse…ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.

Let’s take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing.

I will be closing my eyes hard and I will open my heart widely…because sometimes it feels like there are so many things in this world that we can’t control. Earthquakes, floods, reality shows…. But it’s important to remember the things that we can – like forgiveness, second chances, fresh starts.

Because the one thing that changes the world from a lonely place to a beautiful place is love.

Love, in any of its forms, love gives us hope.

We…someone somewhere and I, met for the first time couple of days before New Year’s of Millenium. We were just kids falling in love.

Almost 20 years later I really hoped we will celebrate NY together, watching fireworks, kissing at midnight and starting a new adventure together.

Perfect New Year’s eve for me it would be with him, naked, watching fireworks, wishing all together wishes, kissing from old year to new one…so that ending of an old one and beginning of a new one would be ours, and beautiful.

I wanted New years to be beginning of 365 days with him by my side… I wished that it will be 365 days for holding our hands, going to sleep together…and 365 days to wake up next to each other.

I won’t stop dreaming! I won’t give up! I’m not letting go!

Let our coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good kinda madness. Let’s somewhere in the next year, surprise ourselves.

Let’s fall for raw conversations, those in which we know the person is not playing, not pretending to be someone they aren’t- Let’s fall for carefree inadvertent smiles, those which aren’t intended to impress another. Let’s fall for what is real! Let’s fall for souls, not the skin carrying it.

Let’s wish for beautiful moments, treasured memories and all the blessings a heart can know.

Let’s love like nothing else matters!

Let’s love 365 days a year!

Kiss me at midnight! Let the adventure begin!

fireworks4

Hemera…

“Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.”

Both myths and dreams are important communications from ourselves to ourselves.

John Lennon said:
“I belive in everything until it’s disproved. So I belive in fairies,the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”

One of the goddesses from greek mythology is Hemera.

Hemera is the goddess of light.

She provided the daytime, she brought both light and day to the world.

With each morning Hemera dispersed night’s mists, bathing the earth again and again in the shining light of heaven which goddess was her sister Aether.

I read about that particular goddess after I was staying in a hotel somewhere with name Hemera named by the goddess.

Boutique hotel has dominant characteristic, rustic industrial design combined with elements of modern technologies. One can notice references to Ancient Greek mythology among the quirky industrial-chic interiors.

Mirrors on the ceiling, naked pictures of goddesses made this hotel even more special.

It woke up goddesses in me…I unleashed my inner goddess and that night I completly embraced fabulosity that can be amazing.

We were miles apart…but that night was ours. That night was night to remember.

Miles apart we knew and felt exactly what we want and how we want it…it wasn’t a booty call, it wasn’t just a phone sex…it was connection of two people.

I felt like his hands are moving from my neck all the way down…following the path that spots are showing.

I felt his breathe on my ear…
I felt his lips on my body…
I felt shivers down the spine…

He knew exactly what I want….he was “incharge”..he was the one leading the way….and what an adventure it was.

It was something about that room..it was something about us that night.

We felt each other from far away…we found “soft spots” of our bodies…exploring by ourselves.

We were loud…sweaty…and grassping from air.

We moved from bed…on the floor….to te table and sofa…and all the way he was leading.

I was closing my eyes hard…my finger was his finger…my grip was his grip…me rubbing was rubbing against him.

We were connected in a way it was hard to explain…we were completing each other…from minute to minute.

I felt his presence..I felt him from top to bottom.

I felt how much he wants me. He knew how much I want him.

I felt him cum…he saw me cuming…and his name was all over my lips.

Once a deep and powerful connection between two people has been made they become a vital part of each other’s lives and there is no separating them. No measure of distance or duration of silence can prevent the outbreak of smiles or the strong desire to leap into each others arms when they come together once more.

Have you ever felt really close to someone? So close that you can’t understand why you and that person have two separate bodies, two separate skins.

A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strenght, but by the strenght of his heart. We are each others heros.

Physical attractions are comnon, but a real mental, soul connection is rare. If you find it, hold on to it.

Awesome feeling it is when you find a soul you can connect with on every level.

I exist in two places…where I am and where he is.

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves,of their soulmate.

I found it. I found my other half.

We are two people who are destined to be together.

He is the one who makes life come to life!

Shell…

Our shell is our hideaway. Our shell is our place alone, it’s place for two people only. No one can get close, because at the beginning it was really dark inside…it was where our demons where hiding…. we weren’t letting anyone come close.

Later sun came in…sunbeam by sunbeam. Day by day.

It is our time! It is our shell!

Place where the darkest and deepest things are talked. Place where the widest smiles are born. Place where we can be who we are…no pretending, glows off, make up off…completely naked emotionally.

It is place to hide away from world…but it is also a discovery that we don’t need another world. We have each other, that is our world.

Sometimes is easier to hide away. Sometimes is easier to pretend you’re ok. Sometimes is easier to push everyone else away.

Our shell is much more than that!

It’s our love nest, it’s a place where you come home and take clothes the very second when you walk in…it’s a place where you leave your used mug and glass on the counter, it’s a place where you put your Christmas tree up, it’s a place when one irons naked others shirts, it’s a place where you can cry and there will be someone who will put arms around you… it’s a place full of love, understanding and respect.

We dance in our shell, naked in the living room.

We are saving the world at 3 am in our shell.

We laugh so hard that we almost pee.

We goof around in the shell.

We do naughty things in our shell…and it feels natural.

We put our armors down…and also rescue jackets, rescue knifes and rescue missiles.

We take care of each other in the shell.

We keep us safe in there.

We decorate our shell with hearts.

We put paintings on the wall, colorful paintings that guests wouldn’t understand. We put one special one in the bedroom…I wrote before that we are weird and when you find someone equally weird, keep it close.

We painted wall in the kitchen with black board colour so that we can write notes to each other with chalk…old school things.

We don’t have a dishwasher in the shell.

We eat eggs with origano for breakfast in the shell.

We share Häagen-Dazs Belgium chocolate ice cream in the shell… and we only use one spoon.

We make palačinke at midnight in our shell.

We have a special vase on the shelf. And a box of grandfather in the shell.

Shell is the place where we don’t hide our feelings and we don’t have to hide from in any way. Whether it’s our morning face, an embarrassing story to tell or an ambition one have had since six years old.

We all need to make sure that we end up with someone who knows all of it and still loves you. Because person you can tell your whole life to is a person worth spending a life with.

We are comfortable and homely in our shell…and like every shell have a story…ours have it to, it’s beautiful and unforgettable.

Shell is our happy place. Together is our favourite place to be.

Love on the brain…

How could I not be addicted to him. When all my life i’ve been told he exist. When all my life I’ve been told to keep searching for him. So tell me, how could I not want to be with him, how could I not want to share every minute drowning into him, falling into him and find it within me to put all the pieces back together again.

Long before there was him or an us, I had hope I will find him.

I know I’m completly and utterly in love.

I can say anything to him and I know he won’t laugh at me. I see his face when I close my eyes. I can still feel his arms around me holding me tight. I can still taste his kiss long after we said goodbye.

I’m love…I miss him before he is gone. His voice lingers in my ears. His presence eases any of my pain. His name send chills down my spine. He is the only thing I can think about.

I see all his dreams and hopes and his soul when I look into his eyes.

Simple chore done with him can become a lasting memory.

I can’t imagen living without him and I can’t figure how did I live before I met him. I don’t want to spend a day without him.

He fulfill every need and dream…without him I feel incomplete.

The love for someone somewhere completes my heart…and sound and mind all at once.

We could be in a room full of people and my eyes would always meet his, just to find that he had already been looking. It’s like we have our own language without even having to speak. No one else in the room could possibly understand the way we felt for each other, probably because we can’t even understand it ourselves.

All I know is, when he walks into the room, it’s like all my worries and fears go away.
Because he is there. And that is all I want and need.

I wonder if he understands how much of me belongs to him.

I wonder if he knows that I love him so much with every ounce of my body. I wonder if he realize his importance not only to me, but to everyone who has been lucky enough to know him.

I wonder if he knows that when he is feeling down, I only ever strive for his happiness.

I wonder if he remembers that no matter what, I’m here for him.

I hope he recognize the fact that I appreciate and adore him without restraints and that will never ever change.

I choose him for life.

I’m willing to give my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderes care through the pressures of the present and the uncertanties of the future.
I will respect his uniquness.

I will lend him the strenght for all of his dreams. I will be his wind so that he could fly.

My heart will be his shelter and my arms will be his home.

I’m willing. Grow old with me the best is yet to be.

I want all of my lasts to be with him.

Because…he feels like sunshine after decades of cold.

I love him in ways he have never been loved…
I love him for reasons he have never been told…
I love him for longer than he thinks he deserves…
and with more than he will ever know exists inside me.

This love of mine will outlive my body!

“Must be love on the brain…”

Lady in red!

There is a shade of red for every woman they say.

They say there is something about the energy of the colour red.

Well…I had trouble wearing red. There were many reasons for that..but..I didn’t feel comfortable in red…I felt like I’m not woman enough to wear it, I felt like I’m not strong enough to wear it.

Vivian Ward, character played by gorgeous Julia Roberts said: “People put you down enough, you start to belive it. The bad stuff is easier to belive. You ever notice that?”

And speaking about Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman…she knows how to wear red, with that smile she is conquering the world!

But…beauty is not in the face, beauty is a light in the heart.

A pretty face gets old. A nice body will change. Fire in a soul…that thing is real. Good woman will always be a good woman. A woman with a beautiful mind is good for a lifetime.

True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.

A beautiful woman needs no fancy clothes to make her look sexy.
She needs to tell no lies, her honesty is her beauty.
She is smart in the head, amd courageous in the heart, confident in herself and compassionate in her thoughts, independent, strong and graceful.

I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered a model, but I’m me.
I eat food. I have curves. I have more fat than I should.
I have scares because I have history.
Some people love me, some like me, some probably hate me.

I love my homely look…I go out without make.
I’m random and kinda weird.
I don’t pretend I’m someone I’m not.
I am who I am, you can love me or not.
And if I love you, I do it with my whole heart and soul.

I’m not beautiful like you. I’m beautiful like me.

I’m my own kind of beautiful.

Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it.

And it’s true that beautiful things have dents and scratches too.

I know I’m not like other woman. I’m not beautiful like those women in magazines.

But I know my soul is good, I know I love deeply, I know I have sparkle in my eyes when I talk with someone I love…I know I sometimes have abilitly to make people around myself smile.

I’m not too caring…my heart just over love.

I’m not selfish…I just like to protect ones that I love.

I wear strenght and darkness equally well. I’m half heaven, half hell.

But I know I try. I know I’m willing to make the ones I love happy…day by day, every day.

Like character from movie mentioned before said : “I’m gonna treat you so nice,you’re never gonna wanna let me go.”

To be beautiful means to be yourself. We don’t need to be accepted by others. We need to accept ourself.

Our differences makes us unique and beautiful.

And remember something and someone with inner beauty will live forever.

Let’s be our own kind of beautiful!

Let’s belive that we are not a one in a million kind of girl…we are once in a lifetime kind of woman.

And let’s not forget a little lipstick never hurts! When in doubt, wear red!

All I want for Christmas is him…

For me Christmas is him. The most beautiful time. Happiness. Wide smile on a face. My promise. Faith. Religion. And peace. Blessing. Jingles in my ear.

He is my Christmas. The one that makes me better…the one that brings happiness in my life. The one I love!

He is the happy to my holiday.

Jingle in my bells.

Nut to my cracker.

Fruit to my cake.

Present under the tree.

Wish to the star.

Home for my holiday.

Candy to my cane.

Kiss under the mistletoe.

Holly to my jolly.

Winter to my wonderland.

Ginger to my bread.

Milk to my cookies.

Joy to my world.

Star on my tree.

Love of my life.

We promised Christmas together…we promised we will invite people that are less fortunate then we are to join us and share Christmas with us.

We promised…and I know we will get there. I know we will!

Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.

Mother Teresa said…. “It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”

Give yourself in everything you do. Give gifts that you put love into it. Give gifts that will be a reminder for whole year. Day by day. Month by month. Of how much love you care for another.

Christmas is love in action.

Every time we love, every time we give…it’s Christmas.

Love the giver more than the gift.

My idea of perfect Christmas is to share it with him.

Christmas occurs only once a year.
The love that I have for him occurs only once in a lifetime!

Still holding his hand!

And all the roads we have to walk are winding…

We will never be able to start a journey if we fear long and winding roads!

I’m ready for the journey of love and life..I’m ready.

I know it’s going to be a long ride on a long and winding road…but I know it’s worth it.

Someone once asked me why I insist on taking the hard road. And my answer would be why one assume that I see two roads?

I have my ultimate goal…I have my dream…I have my focus.

I only see one road! I know it’s not going to be easiest..and I know it’s going to be winding and hard and over the mountain…but I know what is waiting me there. I know! I know it’s worth it.

I don’t care how long it takes me. I’m going somewhere beautiful. I’m going in his arms.

Like Paolo Coelho said… “Straight roads do not make skillful drivers.”

The road to where you want to be is not a super highway, not even close. It’s long and winding bumpy dirt road…but we will get there. We will..just keep the focus!

Because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

Sometimes we are so attached to the road we are going that we turn down a wonderful opportunity simply because we are scared of unknown.

I choose him and the winding road that leads me to him.

I choose him again and again. At the start and at the finish of every single day. No matter the season. No matter the year.

I choose him to struggle and suceed with, to fight and make up with, to love and grow old with.

I choose him knowing there are still trails we must pass…knowing there are mountains left to climb.

I choose to take every step along the way.

I choose him out of 7 billion people…I choose him.

I choose the road with him. I choose him for life….and I would choose him in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality..I would find him and I would choose him.

I choose him over everyone.

I’ll always choose him. Someone somewhere.

I choose love!

He is the road of love and at the end my home.

It’s all about getting there.

Cheers to that!!!